Alderaan Memorial Day
by EsmeAmelia
Summary: Leia's acting strange on the anniversary of Alderaan's destruction, but Han really wants to help her.


AN: Everybody knows I don't own Star Wars. This was written as a birthday gift for my friend MasterOf4Elements at DeviantArt. The mention of Leia and Bail building an indoor tent when it rained is a reference to one of her fics.

"Alderaan Memorial Day"

By EsmeAmelia

When his wife stepped up to the podium, Han's first thought was on how beautiful she was. It probably wasn't appropriate, given that it was the anniversary of Alderaan's destruction and she was giving a speech to commemorate the planet and its people, but he couldn't help but think of how beautiful she was. Her hair was done in a single braid that currently hung over her shoulder, complementing her sleeveless white dress.

"Today . . ." she said, her slightly shaky voice echoing throughout the chamber, ". . . today marks the five-year anniversary of my home planet Alderaan's destruction. I still remember how I was forced to watch helplessly as my planet exploded before my eyes. My parents, Bail and Breha Organa, were among the millions killed that day."

There was a quiver in her lip so slight that Han figured he must have been the only one who noticed it.

"My parents . . ." she continued, the quiver still there, ". . . if they were alive, they would be so happy about our victory." Now the quiver became a tremble. "They . . . they were the most wonderful parents anyone could ask for . . . their deaths were not in vain . . ."

"Leia?" Han whispered.

Now the princess's voice was shaking. "People still address me as a princess . . . though I have nothing to be a princess of. Those millions of Alderaanians . . . I failed them. Their . . . their princess couldn't protect them . . . and what kind of princess is that?" Now her hands were shaking as she gripped the podium. "The day after Alderaan was destroyed, so was the Death Star. Alderaan was avenged, but not saved." Her eyes were moistening. "And I couldn't . . ." Suddenly her eyes widened, as if she only now realized she was in front of an audience. "I'm . . . I'm sorry . . . I'm sorry . . ."

With that she ran off the stage and the audience erupted in confused chatter. "Leia?" Han called, rising from his seat almost in unison with everyone else. "Leia?" The crowd seemed to enclose around him, preventing him from seeing or moving in any direction.

"Leia!" he called again, but still to no avail.

. . .

After the crowd calmed down, other Alderaanian survivors had given speeches, but Han paid no attention to any of them. He asked security several times if he could come backstage to see his wife only to be told that no one would be allowed backstage until the ceremony was over. As such, it wasn't until the dinner in the lobby afterwards when Han was finally able to track down his wife.

He found her by the large window, in Luke's arms. Was she crying? She rarely cried at all, and she _certainly_ never cried in public.

"Leia?" Han asked in a frantic voice. "Are you all right? What happened back there?"

"Han," said Luke, "let her be."

"No," said Leia, pushing out of the embrace with her brother, "it's all right." She wiped the back of her hand over her eyes, smearing her eyeshadow and giving her the look of someone who hadn't slept for days.

Han gently put his hands on her shoulders, absorbing her smooth skin and strong shoulder blades. "Sweetheart, what happened?"

Leia swallowed repeatedly, her eyes darting from Han's gaze to the floor and back. "I just . . . Alderaan's destruction really got to me tonight, that's all."

"Yeah?" said Han. "Well most of the time you can talk about Alderaan without breakin' down."

Leia swallowed again, pushing herself out of Han's embrace and gazing out the window at the ever-moving Coruscant view. "Well . . . talking about my parents . . . my people . . . my home . . . I guess I just got caught up in it because someone will never know them . . ."

"Someone?" Han asked, his eyebrows shooting up.

As if she hadn't heard her husband, Leia quickly turned to her brother. "Luke, could you maybe give us some time alone?"

Luke only nodded before leaving, as if he sensed something important.

"Leia?" Han's voice was reduced to a near-whisper. "C'mon, what's goin' on?"

Leia gave a loud sniffle. "I . . . I didn't want you to find out like this . . ."

"Find out? Find out _what?"_

Suddenly she whirled around to face him, her teary eyes staring into his. "I'm _pregnant,_ okay?"

He froze. Did she really just say . . .? No, no, she didn't . . . did she? His heart increased its beating as the comprehension of what she said slowly overtook him.

"Y-You're . . . pr-pr . . ." His breath came out in quick little jerks. "Pr-Pr . . ." Without thinking, he gave up on finishing the word and instead threw his arms around her, squeezing her close to him. "We're . . . we're gonna have a baby . . ." He said it as if trying to convince himself it was true.

Leia sniffled again. "Yes . . . and our baby will never know its grandparents _or_ its mommy's home . . ." She pulled slightly away from him, revealing tears streaming down her face. " _Never._ Just that simple act of visiting grandparents – our baby will _never_ experience it."

There was _something_ Han could say to make it better, right? This wasn't right – learning that they were going to have a baby was supposed to be a happy experience, not something combined with death, even death that happened five years ago.

The princess was once more giving several loud swallows. "I'm sorry . . . I'm sorry . . . I ruined the moment, didn't I?"

Now Han was the one swallowing as he once again wiped her tears. "You're . . . you're right, our kid ain't gonna visit his or her grandparents." Ever-so-slowly, his free hand moved down to her stomach as he imagined new life developing in there. Life. Life they had created together.

Life they would be responsible for.

"But . . ." he said carefully, ". . . you can help our kid _imagine_ its grandparents."

Leia sighed. "It's not the same."

"No, it's not," Han continued, "but, well, look how much _I_ know about 'em. I never met 'em, but since you told me so much about 'em, I kinda feel like I did. I never skated on the Alderaanian lakes or watched an Alderaanian sunset, but you make me feel like I did." He took her into his arms once again. "And ya know, we can do stuff with our kid that your parents did with you – like how you and your dad made a tent out of chairs and blankets to watch the rain, we can do that with the kid too."

Leia gave yet another swallow, perhaps swallowing a sob as she gazed back out the window, maybe looking for Alderaan's star.

"Our baby _will_ know its grandparents," Han pressed. "Not like if they were alive, but their memories'll live on . . . shit, that's cheesy, isn't it?"

After several moments of gazing out the window, Leia wrapped her arms around her husband's waist, resting her head on his chest. "Sometimes cheesy works."

Han ran his fingers through her hair, kissing her head. "Hey . . . speakin' of cheese, they got Alderaanian fondue at the buffet." He pulled back, giving her a gentle smile. "And shoberry ice cream."

Leia managed a tiny smile back as she took a deep breath. "I think the baby could develop a taste for shoberry ice cream."

"Not _too_ much, though," Han said with a smirk, "or it'll start waking us up in the middle of the night when it wants some."

"Well Flyboy, if that happens its _daddy_ can get up to get some."

With a chuckle, Han bent over and gently kissed her abdomen. "Hey kid, you're in for an interesting life. I bet your grandparents would love you."

THE END


End file.
